The following post is full of spoilers. If you have not yet watched the episode, starting hitting the back button. You have been warned, don’t complain to me if you continue reading this and learn something you didn’t want to.
With that said, this is honestly the frist time I have not been happy or excited for an episode of this show. I’ve been watching since October 31, 2010, the very first episode, and even with all of the character losses and angst I have always looked forward to each and every episode. This is the episode that I will never, ever watch again.
Watching the Talking Dead has always just been part and parcel for watching TWD. Even though Chris Hardwick has always called it therapy, it has never been for me. Until tonight. Tonight it was therapy that I–we all–sorely needed.
I thought I had too much invested in Supernatural. When Sam and Dean were at odds, when John’s love for them was called into question, when Dean struggled with his feelings toward his father, it hurt me. It never sat right with me when Sam and Dean were upset with each other. I have actually had to stop watching the active seasons of the show. After season five it was never the same for me. There have been some great episodes, but the seasons as a whole just haven’t done it for me. I will buy every season on Blu-Ray as I always have and watch them eventually, but I can’t stand watching it on TV anymore. But I’ve gotten off track.
Nothing prepared me for The Walking Dead. I have never in my life been so emotionally invested in a show, in its characters. I feel true anguish when we lose beloved characters. I have no words to express what I feel about tonight’s episode.
How can I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan and still be able to hate Negan? This episode broke me. I couldn’t even produce tears until Maggie lost it at the end. And even then… After all the crap we went through with Glenn last season. In my heart I had a feeling it would be him because it was like they put as through all of that angst just spthe pain would be more crippling later. Plus, I’ve read the comics. Knowing it didn’t help me. I was just so…devestated. I’m numb.
Abraham was the obvious choice, because who else could have taken the hit like champ? He basically volunteered. He was so brave in the face of all of that craziness. If it had to be anyone, he wanted it to be him rather than any of his family.
Glenn hurt so bad because we have watched him grow as a character and an actor. Someone reminded me that if not for Glenn, Rick would still be in the tank. Glenn was the heart and soul of the group and without him the are going to spiral. Maggie wants blood! That is never Maggie’s way. She’ll do it if it’s the only way, but now she wants to be the aggressor!
And Abraham. Who’s going to say things like Mother Dick and pouring the bisquick?! Who’s going to be the brave and faithful soldier?
I don’t believe Rick is scared. At least not in the way Negan wants him to be. He’s scared for his family. He’s worried about what other losses they will take in the effort to get rid of Negan. And make no mistake, killing Negan is on his mind!
My feelings on the episode are so all over the place that I can’t really express them any more coherently than this. And this is pretty incoherent for me!
I want Carl to be the one to take Negan out. In all honestly, he is a serial killer in the making. It’s amazing that kid feels anything any more. He’s not just a kid in the zombie apocalypse. He’s a kid who lost his father, saw the world end, regained his father, watched so many people he loved die. He killed his mother, he’s been shot twice–lost his damn eye. This boy is fearless and I think Negan would have been smarter to kill him instead of Glenn.
I’m empty and broken and it will take me forever to get past this.
I’m sorry I can’t make this post any better than this. Just mourn with me.