Mondays Truly Suck Balls

I know that everyone says they hate Mondays, that they suck. But typically my Mondays are proof-positive that they well and truly suck!

I slept like crap last night. I got up sort of on time, fixed my hair, got dressed, even packed my lunch. And then my ride, who is also my mom, calls me to tell me she’s too sick to go to work. Well thanks for calling me early enough to get the bus that gets me to 69th Street on time. Oh, wait, that’s right, you called my just as the bus would be riding past my stop. Spanks for that, really.  And now I’m in my mad dash to catch the bus that will get me there just early enough that I’ll get a train leaving early enough to get me to the Hell office just by the skin of my teeth. You know the Devil doesn’t like it when you’re late!

And in doing said mad dash I don’t have enough time to eat my super yummy diet breakfast of peanut butter on a single slice of marble rye. Oh and I didn’t take any of my meds, nor have I refilled my emergency stash that I keep for just such an occasion.

And now I’m likely gonna catch the same train as SpongeBob DirtyPants and her faithful dim-witted sidekick Patrick.

Oh and now I have to figure out how to track down staff from my regular office to inform them that tlmy mom/supervisor won’t be in for their monthly meeting.

And I’m expect Ted to stay faithful to my diet?! It’s not even 8:00 am and I wanna down a Throwback and gorge on Oeros! Well guess what bit he’s, mama is having a corn muffin for brecky and i don’t give a shit who knows it!

Why so I never listen to Garfield and stay in bed on Mondays?! Mondays should be outlawed, just sayin’.

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