As I was getting ready for work this morning, out of the blue I thought, “I don’t blog nearly enough.” Here’s why I need to:
I got texts from my mom last night & this morning letting me know that she’s at the hospital with my grandmother so she won’t be picking me up for work today. This cuts my timeline down considerably, but I manage to get myself ready, get the kids up for school, borrow 5 doll hairs from hubby’s wallet because i really want a corn muffin and I don’t have any cash on me, let the dog out & wake the hubby so he can take over the child wrangling. I get out of the house on time–early actually considering that I waited damn near 10 minutes for the bus.
It’s crowded on the bus and I don’t get to sit until the second half of the trip. Of course I choose to sit next to a grown man playing on a DSL (I’m not judging, I’m jealous cuz I want want too) but clearly this man needs to take more time brushing or utilize some mouth wash–possibly both! Then the bus gets more crowded and I find myself boxed in by stinky breath dude on one side and now three kids on the other. They range in age from about 7 to 13 and all or at least one of them smells like they have recently pissed and shitted in their pants. The youngest one is continually whining to the two older ones. I’m not exactly sure what she’s complaining about because I’ve got A Thousand Suns playing just loud enough to drown out the conversations around me, but I’m a mom and it wasn’t all that long ago that I was a kid so I know the sound of whining when I hear it. They are standing much too close and all I have to keep me from cracking it is Mike telling people to “Y’all oughta stop talkin and start tryin to catch up mutha fuckas!” Thank GOD for Mike Shinoda and Linkin Park or I may have gone nuts on the bus.
Finally we get to the last stop and we all file off the bus ride from the twilight zone. I get to my little shop inside the terminal that sells Dunkin Donuts muffins that are much fresher than the ones they sell at Dunkin Donuts (go figure), and dig into my pocket for the doll hairs I borrowed from hubby. No money. I check my other pocket, empty. Check my jacket pockets, nothing. Fuck where’s my money? I check my wallet, nada. Well ain’t this a bitch! Now I gotta go to the ATM and spend $1.50 to get my em effing money out because I REALLY want that muffin! Then I back track to the shop for my muffin. Now I’m on the train and have actually managed to pick a car that is absent homeless people and their worldly possessions and how-awful odors.
All this happened before 8:00 est. And I haven’t even gotten to Hell yet! I work with the dumbest, most annoying bitches known to man and my mom/supervisor/salvation isn’t here. This leaves us all at the mercy of the devil and her minions until 12:30 when we can make the fun trek back to our normal office. With my luck SpongeBob StinkyPants will be extra stinky–there is just no reason why anyone, let alone a woman, should ever smell like that in public! And I’m sure her sidekick Patrick will be super whiney and dumb today. There is only one other person, my officemate, who is somewhat tolerable and that’s really hit & miss. Cannot wait to see what the rest of the day brings.
I’ve arrived in Hell and need to put my phone away in case the devil is lurking in the hallways.